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The Psychology of Sad Songs — How Music Connects Us with Our Pain
When all hope is gone, you know sad songs say so much. — Elton John
Sad songs have long been a staple in music, with many people turning to them in times of despondency or heartbreak. But why do we find solace in listening to songs that make us feel worse? Well, it turns out there are distinct psychological mechanisms behind our preference for sad music.
Social Connection and Emotional Expression
One theory regarding the appeal of sad music argues that it provides a sense of social connectedness. Social connectedness refers to a feeling of being part of a group, family, or society. It emphasizes the bonds people build with each other and their affiliation with the wider community and the human condition. Individuals who listen to sad music after experiencing a breakup typically report feeling less lonely and more connected to others who have experienced similar emotions (Sachs, Damasio, & Habibi, 2015, Schäfer, et al., 2013). This is also related to the way sad music allows us to express and process our emotions in a safe and controlled way (Huron, 2011; Krumhansl, 1997).
Another reason why people may surprisingly enjoy sad music is that it allows for the expression of emotions that may not be socially acceptable in everyday life. For example, it may be seen as weak or vulnerable to openly express feelings of sadness or heartbreak. Sad music allows for the expression of these emotions without fear of judgment or backlash (Huron, 2011; Huron & Vuoskoski, 2020). This suggests that sad music may have a cathartic effect, helping individuals to process and release negative emotions.
Relatedly, the experience allows individuals to regulate and control mood, as well as safely confront and process negative emotions, leading to a sense of resolution and closure (Krahe & Bienick, 2012; Krumhansl, 1997; Schäfer, et al., 2013). Sad music may serve as a form of self-regulation, helping individuals to cope with difficult emotions and situations (Schäfer, et al., 2013). According to a study by Kawakami and colleagues (2013), listening to sad music can paradoxically lead to an increase in positive emotions, such as peacefulness and serenity, and a decrease in negative emotions, such…
